Confidence surely assures your children’s success in school and in life. Children’s brains are their super computers that can solve any problem if their brains are programmed right and given the right commands. They can turn “I can’t” into “I can’t … YET” with adult help and encouragement.

There are ways you can instill confidence in your children. The website suggests ideas for building your children’s confidence. The website provides you with 25 ways to do so. Some suggestions are:

Provide them with unconditional love. No matter what they do, you love them.

Call your children by name when you talk to them. Using their unique name gives them the feeling they count and are valued. Ask your children’s advice and opinions when your family needs to make a decision.

Give your children you full attention. Make eye contact with them and listen to what they have to say, accepting their emotions without judgment. Encourage them to express their feelings. Validate their feelings and you might even share the feelings you had in a similar situation.

Give your children age-appropriate tasks and chores. Little children can set the table and pick up their toys. Older children can help with laundry and cleaning chores. If you give your children age-appropriate tasks, you set them up to succeed. Provide encouragement in which you acknowledge their effort rather than praise, which you give only if they do it perfectly. Don’t expect perfection; just show your pleasure with the work they do. Children need to feel useful and successful.

Teach your children positive self-talk. Self-talk is conversations they have with themselves. Keep the self-talk positive so that children use self-talk to control their emotions and potential success. Help your children believe they can succeed and constantly tell themselves that.

Let them make their own decisions. Encourage them to try new things. IF they do not succeed, at least they tried. You and they might be upset with their choices, but never give your children the idea you are upset with them. It is best not to run to their rescue. All of us learn from our mistakes.

Teach them to be resilient and accept wins and losses equally. Teach them to be independent and adventurous and not be afraid to try new things.

Support their interests and help them discover their talents and passions. Teach your children to set and achieve goals. Discuss the steps they might need to “get there.”

Allow your children to overhear positive comments about them you make to other people. Don’t compare them to others.

Give your children many opportunities to become capable and confident so that your children become happy, successful and thriving adults.

Most of the behavioral problems that I see for counseling come from poor self worth in parents as well as children … your child looks to you as a mirror of his own feelings. — Dr. Sears (

By helping your children become confident, you might even become more confident yourself. You will find interesting confidence building activities for all of you on

Southern Arizona resident Bette Mroz is a former teacher, reading specialist and principal. As a mother and grandmother, she continues to help her family learn. She can be contacted at

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